For those who have followed me and possibly have read my book, you know that I initially built my wealth out of fear of some expensive disease/illness hitting us, putting me and my family in bankruptcy, like so many others before us. Never did I imagine this.
Last week Friday, as I was about ready to publish my latest post when Mrs. Mi10 noticed something wrong with our boy. She was initially dismissed by our pediatrics clinic (read about it here) but with persistence was seen. She went, came home and only 40 minutes later the phone rang. Please come back right away… Long story short, last Friday our boy was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. WTF!!! What did he do to deserve this? I always feared for some illness to hit me or at worse Mrs. Mi10. I never imagined it would be one of my children.
They talk about the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I’m not sure if or how they apply here. There is no denial, he’s got it. Mrs. Mi10 somewhat always feared it, as she’s seen it up close in her family. For me, it never crossed my mind, but here it is nonetheless.
There is anger, but I don’t know who or what to direct it at. There is no one to blame. They still don’t know what causes it and what angers me most is that it is so random. It feels so unfair that the sweetest, kindest kid I know is struck with this.
I can’t figure out how bargaining might apply here but that’s maybe because I’m not at that stage yet. I’m already wondering if my background in Big Data could somehow contribute to a cure or treatment. Don’t know if that is bargaining or just wishful/delusional thinking.
Depression, I can see that coming, but right now we need to be there for our boy. Our own state of mind is the least of our concerns. We cry, but try to desperately hide it from the kids. As parents, we desperately try to keep a happy face about all of it in front of the kids. We tell him how its all a big adventure and how it makes him special.
Acceptance is already there and I actually feel guilty for accepting it as fast as I have. Not accepting it seems again delusional. Besides not accepting it could also be dangerous for his well being.
So there you have it. This why I haven’t posted in a while and this is why I’ll probably be posting less going forward. I already know there will be plenty to write about when it comes to this disease and money, an expensive disease like this to a PF writer should be like an election year to Comedy Central, but right now it isn’t. Right now we need to focus on our sons well being. Our financial well being, I can’t deny, already on my mind, will have to wait. Mrs. Mi10 and myself have been thrown into world of which we know very little. Yet we need to learn so much for the safety and well being of our child. Every day, every meal now seems to be about counting carbs, blood sugar count, units of insulin and monitoring our child. Not doing so can cost him his legs, his eyesight or worse, his life.
We’ve seen plenty of examples of kids and adults that have gone on to do great things in sports, science and life so we’re a little hopeful as well. We’re also amazed about our 6 year old boy who is taking all of this in strides. He’s already showing off to his teachers how he can draw his own blood for testing. He’s a real trooper, which gives us hope as well.
For now I’ll keep tweeting/re-tweeting great contributions from my friends in the Personal Finance world and I hope you’ll bear with me and the absence of any now posts of mine.
Thank you and stay healthy